I am writing this article for parents who are paying for music tuition for their child or who want to encourage their children and therefore get the most out of their tuition fees … and we all want value for money, don’t we?
I am fortunate enough to write this article from both points of view.
In other words – I have been both the music student and the ‘poor parent’ paying for lessons…
As an adult/parent we want to give our children full lives and rich experiences…we want them to ‘squeeze the juice’ out of life – we want them to play music!
At first, we are highly optimistic, full of artistic dreams for our young one – we take our child shopping for the instrument/equipment , we drive them to the teacher , we pay for a bunch of lessons and music books, we cross our fingers tightly and hope…
Sometimes the child is intrinsically motivated and can’t get enough practice and we are thrilled, and sometimes the child has to be nagged and nagged to practise and it all ends in tears… how do we avoid the latter?
It helps to ask the following questions before you call a music teacher:
- Does music stimulate and inspire you and your child?
- Does your family have fun musical experiences together?
- Do you have happy family memories centred around music?
- Has my child asked to play this instrument?
- Does my child have musical aptitude?
- Can they sing in key when they sing along to the radio?
- Should I have my child tested for musical aptitude? (most music teachers can do this in a consultation/audition situation )
- Does my child have a space in his/her day to practise? ( No,this does not include travelling in the car)
- Is there a place in my home ( or the next door neighbours) that my child can practise without too much distraction?
- I mention the neighbours, because when I was quite young I was sent to practise piano down the road because we did not own one of our own.
- Am I too busy/tired to check on when and what my child is practicing? Do I have a few spare minutes every few days to listen to my child practicing?
- Have I got the emotional energy to genuinely encourage my child in her/his efforts to master a new technique/piece of music?
- Children can spot phony praise a mile away, so remember to be genuine and don’t overdo the encouragement if their results are less than perfect!
A family that appreciates music in any form together will have a strong base to encourage the struggling learner.
Take your child to live concerts featuring the instrument they are interested in playing.
If you live in Sydney or Melbourne you will be blessed with plenty of free concerts and buskers in public places, so it doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg.
I cannot recommend strongly enough for you to show your child enjoyable demonstrations of the instrument they want to learn…Your child will be thoroughly blessed if you happen to play that instrument yourself.
Do yourself a favour – in the early days, try to focus on ‘positive reinforcement’ by picking out the good or right things your child is doing- and try to avoid criticism or sour lemon type facial expressions ( I know you will be tempted, so monitor yourself!)
Even if they don’t sound wonderful, praise your child for practicing and encourage them.
Learning and teaching their body the right positions takes time and energy.
Just lavish them with praise and affection and they will quickly come to associate practice with approval and good feelings.
They are doing SOMETHING NEW ALL BY THEMSELVES! Focus on their sense of achievement…
‘Nothing breeds success like a little success’ – so, take the time to appreciate that and tell them when they get something right that they have been wrestling with. …
Encourage them to perform for friends and family and take them busking for their own pocket money in the street ( check with your local council first. Sometimes you’ll need to obtain a licence for a few dollars)
I’ll never forget the look of pride and pleasure on my daughter’s face the first time she went out busking on her own at the age of 14 and came home with $70. It certainly beats working in MacDonald’s!
A lot of the points in this article may seem like basic common sense to some of you, but you would be amazed how many parents buy expensive instruments and lessons and push them at their children thinking their job is done.
What is your motivation for giving your child music lessons?
Take time to think carefully and both you and your child will benefit from your thoughtfulness and consideration.
Don’t hesitate to email me for more information emmasings@gmail.com